I Know what you want. I know what you wanted too. And you need to know I can't do the things you want me to do, or be the things you want me to be. I can't.

Moreover, I gave you the chance, and there was rejection, yes. What more did you want from me, to keep me down with you? To give me the dissatisfaction of not knowing if I could be given a second chance after the terrible things I put her through?

I try to help you, I try to do what I know helps, but my methods are not your methods and my ways cannot fit you. I feel worthless at times to help my best friends, and then at others I scorn you for what you secretly want to happen.

Well, not very much a secret now is it?

I am not going to allow this relationship to end, and especially not soon. Especially not to appease you. And most definitely not because whether or not I "love" her or not, whatever that means.

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how I can be what everyone needs me to be.