Why does she do that? What is there to gain from lieing about stupid stuff.. I dont understand, I dont lie to her, I have Never lied to her, yet i feel like 1 out of 5 things she says is a lie, or when she doesnt talk to me all night, she must be out with "someone".

And Im begining to HATE Frat-boy. I have no real reason to other than suspicion, and it all leade back to my untrust for her...

I just want a relationship where i dont have to @*^$@ worry all the damn time about whats going to happen, are we going to be together tomorrow, is she serious, am i good enough, whats the problem!...

*deep sigh....

I miss you... And what a terrible thing that is, to miss the likes of you. I even kept the momentos.. But why..

This is all just a hinderence anyway, but i love you, and I have to keep going otherwise Im no better...that "her"...

Just...stop @&^!%&*# Lieing to me.... Tell the the God-honest truth when i need it!

:'(

I wish I had Infinite Patience. I wish i had Infinite love, and resources to make all whom i love and care about happy beyond comprehension.

But sadly, I am not God. I am limited to what I am capable of doing..

and its a terrible thing, perhaps my greatest hinderence.

I love Sunshine, but i dont know what to do, what to do to make her happy, to show her how much I truly care...

She is going to the Navy...a 4 year trip that I most likely will not even see her during...
What am I to do? I just dont want to be alone, but I know now that i can manage being alone. I dont need anyone anymore, i feel the difference.

I just, want things to work out...But I am not God
I have finite Patience, finite love and resources. I am a miniscule creature of creation..