I write this, not being in the best of health, but feeling I just need to write. I feel like a "Gharuba", or stranger to the world around me. I also feel that this is a good thing, but that my desire to hold on to the gems of this world hinder me and truly appreciating being a stranger. I wish to seem strange to people, intriguing, enticing, and righteous. I want people to think that what I do is so strange, yet so beautiful, that they want to be a stranger as well.

Islam is a beautiful way of life, it truly is. I will walk away from prayer, feeling as if I had never bathed if I had never bathed in clean water in my life, and I have just now become clean and wholesome. Alas, I am a real procrastinator, I often shrug off my daily prayers, worse yet, I do it knowingly. This perhaps is why I am down a lot lately. I feel dirty and I am washing myself with nothing but filthy water.

I am truly trying to get a grasp on the Sunnah, or the way of the Prophet Muhammad(pbuh). I wish to carry myself in a strong commanding way, but have that air of serenity and godliness around me. I wish to not joke of harmful things or say wicked, foul words. It is a hard task. It is very similar to Christians trying to live the way Jesus(pbuh) prescribes in their Bible. It is not always easy to turn the other cheek, or to love thy neighbor, or even to do more simple things like keep God in our hearts during troubled times, when we are wrought with anger, or during the day when God just seems to not be on the forefront of thought. It is hard being a Stranger to this world.